Links Misadventure!
by Icewalker220
Summary: Join me, the audience and random people as we discover the world of LOZ:Misadventures! Link's a retard, get reincarnated a bunch of times gets a tiny bit smarter and gets dumb again, his sidekicks and Ganondorf, and his goons, what will become of the world of Hyrule, will it fall, or will it just be a stupid story? i don't know? find out and join the adventureee!
1. Chapter 1

**Hello, this is my first story here and I hope you guys like it! :D**

**I don't own LoZ Nintendo does, I also don't own an references to SpaceBalls, or any other thing I have put.**

**Rated M for safe measures**

Legend of Zelda: Links Misadventure!

We find ourselves today at Ganondorf's castle, where he plans to plot some devious plans. Ganondorf:" Today, we will find a way to kill link, got any ideas Ghirahim?" Ghirahim:"Maybe we can rape him? I think that'll be a good idea, or maybe slavery?" Ganondorf:" What. Da. Fuck. That has to be one of the creepiest ideas you've had so far. What do you think we should do Dark Link?" DarkLink:" We could distract him and take all the items he needs." Ganondorf:"that's actually a great idea." DarkLink:"Then send him to a whore house, and get him multiple STD's and then we chop off his dick!" Ganondorf:" well, it STARTED as a good idea, and then you mention chopping off his dick, you're crazy." DarkLink:"Just like the rest of us ^_^."

We now switch to Link; the reason WHY we switched to link is because Ganondorf is going to go to the ER because of DarkLink and Ghirahim being so damn stupid. Link: Why the fuck are we searching for this goddamn heart piece, which I do need, but why, why can't we just go kill some bosses, and I can fuck Ruto?" Sheik:"Because I told you, you're going to be fighting Ganondorf soon, and she wants you to marry her, and you'll have to revoke your hero status, cuz nobody wants to see a half fish man save anybody." Link:"Why do you always- omg! Fried cucco wings I gotta have them!" –link runs toward the random chicken wings while sheik secretly admires his ass, cuz he's a pervert like dat.- Link: Sheik, they had the BEST sales on chicken wings today, I just HAD to get them!" link said jumping up and down like a kid getting ice cream. Just then Ganondorf and his friends snuck up on them –but first letting link finish his fried cucco wings- and kidnapped them and took them to their castle. Our hero's wake up at a strange place they don't know –well, a place sheik knows, but link thinks it's a old depressing mans house, close enough- Sheik: "Link! Stop playing with your shackles!" Link:"Come on, they rattle, and I like the sound they make :P." Sheik, Ganondorf, and the rest besides Link sighed in annoyance, after about 16 minutes of Link playing with the shackles, driving them all near that thin line you don't want to break, or you'll get hell. Ganondorf and everyone else in the audience: "STOP PLAYING WITH THE SHACKLES!" Link:"Sorry " Ganondorf sighed in annoyance again, how were they going to stand Link through all of this. Ghirahim was getting annoyed of all the silence, which was really awkward when link took out his ipod and started listening to his them, moving his head cuz he was shackled. Ghirahim, finally going insane cuz of the silence. Ghirahim:"Ok, someone tell what we should do with them cuz I'm going to fucking slit their throats if someone doesn't tell me what to do with them!" Ganondorf:"Calm down, I'll think of something." DarkLink:"Pancakes!" –though pancakes did sound like a DELICIOUS idea, he had other things on mind, like if he'll break the forth wall saying something about my addiction to quesarito's from Blawko Bull- He then got an idea, it might be risky, but he'll do it. Ganondorf:"Sheik, make link play Legend of Zelda: Ocarina of time Master Quest!" Sheik:"I would if I could, but link is as stupid as a cork, you'll have to think of something else." After a while of thinking he had an idea Ganondorf:"How about we make him read some REALLY bad fanfictions –hint hint- and we get to torture him!" Ghirahim and DarkLink laughed know that this would for SURE torture the poor stupid dumbass. Link overheard their conversation, started screaming, and took out his hug pillow of himself and his trusty night lantern, with green light –the green light always seemed to calm him down , but it wasn't working this time- Link had to face the truth and was forced to read this crappy fan- I mean A crappy fanfiction, it was sooo bad, that DarkLink had to tie his head in place, as Ghirahim scrolled down, Link kept on screaming, and screaming, it was the worst fanfiction he ever read, this- I mean THAT fanfiction would never get any reviews, maybe not even read, even worse was when it came to this part, where the Author was typing this same thing that I'm typing right now, but you missed it, now is soon, but you missed soon already, and then, but now is now, ughh, you just missed it! His brain practically exploded from the confusion, even I was confused typing that part, I had to type it twice! When he was done reading this- I mean THE fanfiction, he told sheik the whole thing, cuz if he's going down, sheik is too. Link:"Then the author was in the story, and he's kinda creepy, but a good kind of creepy." DarkLink:"What do you mean the GOOD kind there is no good kind." Ghirahim:"Well, the good kind of creepy is the one you want to be a part of, like me and Ganondorf^_^!" Ganondorf sighed, how was he going to take over Hyrule when all of this nonsense was going on? Ganondorf whispered to Ghirahim and DarkLink, "I need you two to distract Sheik and the dumbass here, while I take over Hyrule." The two nodded, and soon Ganondorf took over Hyrule, and now Link and Sheik are trying to kill Ganondorf once again and restored peace to Hyrule! But all was not good in Hyrule, no, the people needed stupid quests to put Link and Sheik in, so that way they can write a story about it, and make Link's carnations and a sidekick have a wacky adventure –hint hint- and break some pots, and steal some shit, cuz dats jus' how dis shit is man.

**Hey guys, I hoped you like the story, this is going to be my first chapter in, Legend of Zelda: Links Misadventure. I'll be uploading the next chapter soon so, stay tuned :D**


	2. Chapter 2

**Hey guys this is the second chapter of LOZ: Links Misadventure!**

**I do NOT own LOZ of any way shape or form nor do I own Nintendo, Nintendo owns LOZ and I ALSO don't own any references I make and if this is unappealing to you, just click the back button.**

Here we are meeting with dumbass (Link) and Sheik yet again, on ANOTHER misadventure, today we find dumbass and Sheik camping out in Hyrule field, while link has a fried cucco addiction –like mine of quesarito's- Sheik was trying to get Link over the addiction, but it's really hard to, so he just stopped.

Link:"Hey Sheik, can go to Ruto's again! She's the only one who'll accept me!"

Sheik:"Omfg, no, you can't fuck her dammit!"

Link:"Yeah but come on!"

Sheik:" No, you can't. Stop asking!"

After the conversation followed a quick, long, silence from the two, which was getting boring, so Sheik wanted to go to Kakariko because they have whore houses, and Sheik said he's getting lonely and awkwardness soon followed.

After they went to the whore house, Link went to go see Saria, who turned him down immediately. So then after dumbass got over his confused state of depression and hate, he too, went to the whore house, and did some stuff with Malon, who was surprisingly there because she got a job there, because the farm got shut down because ingo raped the cows. After he got caught, he's been spending time in HARD ASS PRISON!

So after our hero's went to the whore house, they soon went to some high priced store with armor worth 100,000 fucking rupees, (which is way too priced for something that makes you invincible if you have rupees, talk about government.) And after he bought the armor and stole the overpriced stuff you could get for 10 rupees for 20, burnt down the store.

Link:" Yeah! Burn you shit high priced shop!"

Sheik:" Ya'know, you finally did something smart for once and I-" Sheik then saw link over by the fried cucco man and got pissed. While Link was getting the fried cucco, Sheik got captured by a mysterious shadow thing, but dumbass was to dumb and stupid to know that.

Link:" OMG!" Link noticed. "They have Teriyaki flavors! I'm in heaven!"

Yuga-I mean weird shadow thingy took Sheik but poor dumbass stupid dumb link didn't notice, and then Link just now noticed that Yu-I mean weird shadow man took him/her whatever.

–Ok, where is my script! I can't keep this memorized, and I need to read the script! Ok, here it is *ahem*-

So Link tried to find Sheik but to no avail. He was gone, but dumbass MIGHT know here he is. He arrived at the Deku Tree, being the dumbass he was as usual; he kept on getting poisoned by the damn skulltula's

Link:"How many times am I going to get poisoned?" he asked, not aware that Sheik wasn't here.

Link:"Wait. Sheik isn't here? SHIT!"

Well dumbass then headed to Water Temple, because DarkLink lived there.

Link:"Ugh! I hate the whirlpools!" dumbass said as he crossed the whirlpools and got to the tree, but Sheik wasn't there.

Link:"Dammit! Hmmm, what would Sheik do?" He thought for a moment ^Well, he would probably think this out in a very rational order, taking all the possibility's and taking out the ones that seemed less possible and done the more likely ones.^

Link:"But that'll require too much work, so I'll just go to Ganondorf's Castle.

Once Link got to Ganondorf's Castle, He went up to the weird shadow guy, he slowly crept to the end of the hall where his room was, he looked down at his dungeon map, and looked around the corner to make sure that he wasn't being watched, he had to go Batman-style and take some guards out, but once he got there the room said Yuga on it,

-why didn't you guys just let me say Yuga, why? I don't get why you guys are being, ugh, ok fine! I'll read it! *ahem*-

When Link opened the door, he saw sheik being electrocuted into thinking he was evil (might be a cult thing), and he went in, kicked Yuga in the face.

Yuga:" Why you little insolent bitch! How dare you kick my face, I was just trying to make Sheik into the beautiful painting for my wall he/her is!"

Link:"What? Wait you were trying to turn him into a painting?" Now why would you do something like that? You must be pretty stupid, you can't even see his/her face!"

Yuga was surprised when he got talked to and lost by the stupid dumbass hero. He was speechless, and while in Yuga's silent absence, Link took Sheik and left Ganondorf's Castle, and they went to a therapist for Sheik's therapy from being shocked the fuck out of him, and maybe forced to rape, but we don't know.

Sheik:"That was pretty smart of you dumbass- I mean Link, thanks for rescuing me from the creepy Yuga guy, thanks.

Soon after that they had a therapist session because of the shock therapy, and needed instant help, so Link rushed him to a hospital and he got Sheik back to normal.

~Aftermath~

After all the thing happened today, as they usually would, scar them all for life, but dumbass just forgets it because he's a stupid dumbass.

**Hey guys this my 2****nd**** chapter, I hope you guys like it I worked some time doing it :D**

**I'm going to be uploading more so, stay tuned :D**


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